me · ramblings

Anxiety attack

Tightness in the chest. Racing heart. A pounding in the chest feels like an explosion waiting to happen. A lion, the king of the jungle, stuck and rattling around inside a small cage. Cramped with barely any room to turn. Walls closing in. Closer and Closer. Pacing back and forth, back and forth. No room for the proud yell that come from the throat of the beast. Only muffled sounds of a once magnificent creature escape the air way.

Motions take on a mind of their own. Hands shake and betray steady movement. Legs become spaghetti noodles no longer wanting to support the body’s weight. Giving way to a sitting position. Not strong enough to stand but energized enough to pounce up and down to no avail. Skin is crawling with visible motion. Just crawling on the inside.

Bare minimum of oxygen entering the lungs. The noises around narrow down. Becoming fixated on the sound of the breathe in and breath out. All other sounds are muffled. Un-intelligible. The once vibrant landscape has turned to a big blur of colors.  Colors are swirled together. All shapes colliding into one another. Unable to tell the the difference between any particular item. Once defined lines are no longer in existence.

Concentration is a distant memory,fading to non existence. Yet there are thoughts racing. Thoughts from every direction. Thoughts that consume other thoughts. A mind drowning in its own whirlpool of ramblings.

Focus does not exist.

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