family · life · love · me · ramblings

Biology doesn’t make a relationship

Relationships are built not biological. Just because you share DNA doesn’t mean you’ll be bonded. I’m not here to belittle family ties. But just to put them into better perspective as an insider looking out to those outside looking in. I’m a huge family person. My maiden name is a sense of pride. It’s a major part of who I am. It’s my starting identity. Just as my married name is the person who I am forming going forward. But it isn’t merely being born genetically that way. It has to do with the time and effort that was spent among my siblings and I to build that pride. Any relationship has to be maintained. They take work and effort from both parties involved. You can’t expect everyone to cater to your wants and needs. Well I guess you can expect it, but you’re gonna be standing there looking around alone wondering where everybody else went. In the end, even our family relationships can be broke down even easier to just a relationship. When thought of like this, it is easier to detach the emotional element to it. And for the following conversation I think it has to be more logical than emotional.

Poisonous relationships are not prejudice. They will cross any boundaries of any relationship. On occasion that poison can be family. Because in all essential meanings a family member is just another person. If this person breaks a bond that was created from birth, it is never the same. Sure you can re-tie it. But the knot is always there. ALWAYS. The cord will never be smooth again. I’m not saying problems can not be mended at all. I am saying that sometimes the damage done is too much to repair. I’m not talking parents punishing a child for curfew violation. I’m talking years of degenerative and belittle behavior on the parents behalf. It is a huge difference.

In all honest I am not one for turning your back on other people. However, in the end, you have to do what’s right for you. You have to do what is best for your mental health. Not everyone will understand. (especially the person you may be severing your ties from) That is ok though. Nobody knows what is best for you but you.Set the boundaries you need. Close the door and don’t answer. Sometimes you need that in life. Some books are best only read once and then put on the shelf.

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