acceptance · me · ramblings

Closure

We want a complete ending. We want to understand the hows and whys.  We want ALL the answers we feel we are entitled to. Closure is about bringing “it” to an end. It may be a myriad of situations. Not just relationships(platonic, romantic, family). It’s about any end. It’s about loss which goes beyond relationships. Losing a job. Miscarriage. A wrecked car. Death.
If there’s no closure we haven’t ended it. Someone else doesn’t give us closure. Sitting around waiting for an explanation you’re never going to get if an extreme waste of time. If they left you, it’s just that they left you. How will any REASON make you feel better about yourself? They aren’t going to come back. PLUS you shouldn’t want to change something about yourself so someone else will stay with you. I know people grow and change BUT to say something like “You didn’t lose the weight you’ve gained since the baby”. In this example, how would that make someone feel any better? It’s not. That’s another false idea you will put in your head about how horrible you are.
There is not a magic switch. No magic pill. Closure is you vs. you. Closure is about peace within yourself. It is about realizing that the end is the end, period. As soon as you do that, you can move on. The moving on is what will usher in the inner peace you are desperately seeking via closure to begin with.  It doesn’t take forever to say goodbye. Just takes as long as YOU allow it to. Our further growth is hindered when we don’t move forward.
Biggest obstacle we face is the fear of closure. The fear that when we do let go (of whatever/whoever) it is really gone forever. The small string we’ve been grasping tight enough to cut us. The the little shred of hope that we can keep fumbling on to again.  POOF! Gone! All of it. Any remains of the block we have been clutching so heavily will be gone. There will be emptiness. The yearning. The fear of no longer holding on to that hope changing us when we don’t want to change.
Thought while in the mist of the storm we can’t see it, closure is a good thing. And once again, it’s an inside job. We are NOT, contrary to popular belief, dependent an anyone else for our own closure. That’s right folks, the balls been in your court all along. You just didn’t know it. The process of closure moves us to a new chapter of our lives. We grow from what we learn about ourselves. Remember, you have to trim back the branches to allow for new growth. That’s what closure is all about. Healing and growing..

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