acceptance · me · ramblings

Happiness is an inside job

I recently had a friend say to me that everyone else around her was happy, so why shouldn’t she be? And ya know what, she’s 100% right. I applaud her for looking around and realizes that SHE herself is in control of her happiness.

Happiness isn’t something that just happens. It’s not. It’s something you have to work for. It’s something you have to go after. Just sitting somewhere wishing for it isn’t going to make it happen either. You have to get up and go after it. Sometimes, it is disheartening. It seems like you are chasing a leaf on the wind. But, no one can hand you YOUR happiness. No one else knows what’s going to make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. If you can not make yourself happy, you can’t make anyone else happy either. Because in the end, you don’t know what really makes you happy, so you will never be happy.

I have made it a point to actually figure out what makes me happy. Something as simple as my clothes or my hair. I like to wear t-shirts and jeans. ALL THE TIME. I don’t dress up. I don’t wear makeup. It’s just not me. That’s what makes me happy. My husband couldn’t decide that for me. I had to figure it out for myself. It he would’ve decided for me what I liked, I wouldn’t be happy. It’s what he likes for me, not what I like for me. Hopefully this rambling is making sense to somebody.
The same thing can be applied to relationships. You aren’t going to change someone. Go after what you want. Not what you think you can change someone else into. People are miserable because they can’t mold people into what they want. There have to be things at the core of your relationships that you are connected to. Not just “ideas” of things. There have to be REAL connections between you and the other person or it just won’t work. Sure you may both want a family, but how big? parenting styles? Sure you can have basics in common but going off of statistics, that’s bound to happen. There has to be a deeper level of connection without trying to change another person into what you want.  And you both have to be happy within yourself to make each other happy.

I love my life.  My marriage is great. My girls are awesome. So sue me! It doesn’t make me snotty to admit that I am happy. I don’t just talk about the bad stuff. I have to give credit to the good times too! Just because I have a different quality of life doesn’t mean I think that I’m better than anyone else. It just means I’m living the way I want to enjoy my life the way I want. At the end of each day, all’s that matters is that I can look in the mirror and be happy with myself. Yea, maybe the day sucked. But I know I tried my hardest and that’s what mattered. Can you do that? If you can’t look in the mirror and be honest with yourself, you will never be happy. It really is that simple.

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