family · life · me · ramblings

Home: now & then

I am not a major “transient”. We didn’t move around that much. We lived in the same home town. We moved to 4 different places before I moved to a new state, living in 2 places here. I love that “home” feeling. If you have experienced it, you know it is a great feeling. I’d dare to say, one we yearn and follow after until we have achieved it on our own. Now, just because a place doesn’t feel like “home” doesn’t mean it isn’t a good place. It just doesn’t have that feel.

The home is was born and first lived in was home. Maybe because my grandparents had lived there and raised their 12 kids there. So it was filled with that family energy. Maybe it’s because there was a ghost that lived there. In my opinion those both ARE the  reasons it felt like home to me. I LOVE the feel of family. Yes there are bad times, but the hugs, love, shared secrets, etc. The feelings you can only get from those you love and love you. The ghost, well that’s just me. It’s part of what, over time, has made me comfortable in my own skin.
When I think about it, that is the home I miss the most.

We did 2 short stints in rental places. Sucktastic. Then moved to the house my parents bought. I will clearly say this was just a house. Sure I had fun with my siblings and my oldest daughter. But this house was cold and looming. It was never home. It was never warm. It was it’s own entity. The next place we moved, was the same. But this one was a little more dark. It did contain ghost as well. However,they were grouchy old people. The house was a nasty vortex of blah when it comes to energy.

The home my husband and bought is EVERYTHING I was looking for. I will tell you as a potential home buyer, I was not the smartest. What did I do? I walked in the door, stopped, took in the place’s vibe. If I didn’t ‘feel it’, we weren’t buying it. Did that to a couple places. When I walked in the back door here, I stood in the kitchen, turned to my husband and said this is it. He said well let’s look around. I didn’t need to, and I didn’t. This was/is home. I am at perfect peace here. This is my home. It is filled with the energy of love. I’m sure it helps that I’m right by a funeral home and one of the largest cemeteries in this area. We get lots of late night ‘ghostly’ visitors. But I’m ok with that. It’s home. It’s right. I am grateful to have returned to that home feeling in my life. Cheesy as it may be, it is TOTALLY Mufasa’s Circle of Life speech brought to reality.

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