acceptance · life · me · ramblings

I’m ok with that

I’m not who you want me to be…..
For the longest time, this sincerely bothered me. I kept looking at myself wondering what did I ever do wrong. Did I ever do anything right??

I’m not who you want me to be…
I raked my brain wanting to know what made you not love me. Why was it that you consumed my thoughts, while clearly, I barely crossed yours.

I’m not who you want me to be…
Re-evaluation of myself. Though I thought I’d done this 100’s of times before, I genuinely never had. I never had re-evaluated myself for myself about myself. My re-evaluations had always been based on the thoughts you pressed into me about who I should be. Never really had given much thought to who I wanted to be.

I’m not who you want me to be…
Then it dawns on me! Like a shock of electricity going through my body. This whole time, this all had nothing to do with me. It had always been about you.

And now….I can say with conviction, very clearly and whole heartedly..

I’m not who you want me to be….
I’m who I want to be.

And…I’m ok with that.

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