Arriving at the hospital early, was eerie. It was dark. Faint sounds of peeps. Barely any motion. The beast was at rest awaiting the start of a new day. Our new day involved my pregnant sister getting back surgery to remove surrounding tissue of where the mole had been and a lymph node to test. No traditional scans could be done due to the baby, so the lymph node test was an only option at the time.
Her and I did all the pre-surgery stuff together. She had to get a dye injection so they could find the lymph node. We were joking around the whole time. She kept saying, “Don’t be worried.” I’d say,”I’m only 50% worried.” She’d smack me, followed by us both laughing. My sister and I have different biological fathers (though mine raised her and gave her his name.) We had a running joke that she was 50% my sister. So a majority of my answers involved 50% wisecracks.
We waited for all the doctors to get there. She wasn’t going back until the OB got there. He was to monitor the baby the whole time to make sure he was ok. I was still in “game face” mode. Keeping her preoccupied, laughing, joking. Then we heard the OB’s voice. He was the last to get there. We looked at each other, both relieved but both also loosing all the color in our face. She said, “Kate, ya kinda look like you’re going to barf.” “Nah,” I told her. “If I do it’ll only be 50%”. We squeezed, kissed checks, I loves yous. Then the techs took her back. Off to the waiting room her boyfriend and I went.
I don’t remember what I did. You could tell me I danced on a waiting room table and I wouldn’t know if I did or didn’t. The door is all I remembered. Everything else surrounding me was a fuzz. My chest was so heavy. My legs wouldn’t stop bouncing. My world was at a total stand still. There was no register of emotion.
Her last name was called. Her boyfriend and I stood up. The doctors didn’t just walk up to us, they wanted to go in the meeting room. (At this point, I really did almost barf.) They told us to sit. I did not. Her ob knows me because this is her fourth baby. I’ve been involved with doctor visits all four times. He put his hand on my arm and said “She’s ok. And the baby is fine too.” I sat down, tears streaming down my face, so grateful they had both made it. I just wasn’t ready to lose her. Not yet. It wasn’t time.
I don’t remember anything else the doctors said. I just wanted to see her. That’s all I could think about. I need to see her. Touch her. Kiss her face. See her freckle kissed checks. But we had to wait. The receptionist in the waiting room said it would be about 45 minutes until we could see her. It took an hour and fifteen minutes.
We didn’t go to a room, they had us go up front to the entrance of the hospital. Nobody told us what was going on. I was a tightly woven ball of nerves. Where the hell was she? What happened?? I swear to God, I am about to snap on one of these….And there she was!!! The nurse wheeled her out of the elevator. I cried such happy tears. One of the few times in my life I have run. I squeezed (lightly). I kissed her checks so much.
Later, she would tease me about that. As soon as the nurse saw my reaction, she lend down and told my sister “Somebody is glad to see you”. My sister told her “That’s love”. Of course, I teased her, told her she saw it wrong. It was all those drugs, still had her loopy.
Honestly, that was one of the happiest moments of my life.