cancer · grief · love · my sister

A Bath Chair

Currently, my #4 is sick. We did an emergency room visit. She got checked out. The doctor gave a script for nebulizer medications and off we went.

Of course the hospital is the same one my sister used. I expected to have a hard time, but I did not. My main focus was my #4. The whole visit happened without my sister crossing my mind. Although, I did tell my husband my sister was MUCH more fun than him in the ER.

I dropped off my #4 and husband at home. Then drove to get her script filled. I’m waiting in line. Just doing the looking around the pharmacy while I wait in line thing.

I look straight ahead and just barely catch a glimpse. Probably wouldn’t have even known what it was, if my sister hadn’t needed one. A Bath Chair.

Everything floods back to my mind. So vivid. So fresh .  Just as if she were standing there, right next to me.

Tears start to stream down my face. My breath catches in my throat.

The pharmacy tech asks if she can help me. I choke back tears, hand her the script. Luckily the drop off went quickly. I nodded my head and walked away.

Usually I would have just waited there, but today I could not. I went to the car where the tears down poured.

A Bath Chair. A Damn Bath Chair.

She was so excited to get her bath chair. It meant she could still take long hot showers WITHOUT anyone helping her. She talked and talked about her bath chair.

“Kate, you just don’t know!!! This chair is fire!!! OMG!! I can’t wait to feel that hot water.”

Literally, for over an hour, I heard about how great her bath chair was going to be. When she was in the hospital, I would go in the shower room with her. I’d have to wash her back. She didn’t see getting the bath chair as a bad thing at all. She saw it as keeping her independence. It meant she could shower alone. It was the first time in a while that she was genuinely excited about something.

I think that’s why it sticks out so strongly in my mind. She was extremely happy.

I miss her happy face. I miss seeing the shine in her eyes.

Today I miss you because of a bath chair. (How funny is that?)

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