cancer · grief · loss · love · my sister

4, 3,2,1…Today

Four years ago- 2013

You wanted to do something “different” with your hair. So you came over, loaded with junk food and your Pepsi from Luke’s (gas station). I bleached the “under” part of your hair so that no matter what color you picked to put under it, it would be bright. We stayed up late that night just talking. You will all your gossip. Always having a story to tell.

Three years ago- 2014

We found out you had cancer. There was shock. So much unrealness. Luke’s (gas station) lunch. We needed to eat we were pregnant. Pizza and breadsticks with cheese. We were smiling but so close to tears. I talked about the kids. Brought our hearts back around to joy. Your favorite story of how I went into labor with my #1 the day of your 8th grade valentine’s day dance.

Two years ago-2015

There were issues with insurance. So many phone calls. Lots of pop and breadstick with cheese from Luke’s (gas station). Fighting so hard for what you deserved. I was relentless. I was completely submerged in making every call needed to be made in one day. Then calling all of them one more time.

One year ago- 2016

We found out your cancer had spread all around your brain & spinal fluid.

Today -2017

I am here with out you. I had Luke’s breadsticks with cheese. The salt from my tears did nothing to lessen the kick of the jalapeno in the cheese.  It’s over. It’s really over. How do I do this without you? This version of life is still sucking pretty hardcore. Miss & love you.

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