Every decision is based on my children. I’m not looking for applause or anything of that nature. It’s more of an observation. Before I actually make a choice, in my mind I run through what the outcome could be with each child involved.
There are parents out there who agree, saying that’s how parenting should be. Then there are parents out there who will say I am doing things wrong. My children don’t understand the order of things if I make them the most important. I’m the adult, I run the house, make a choice. They will learn to live with it.
Here is when I agree to disagree. I don’t like being told how to parent. I won’t tell someone else how to parent. I do what works in my home for my children. My children don’t just “learn to live with it”. That’s not the way the spectrum works.
But being an autism mom takes that decision-making to a whole new level. When I say EVERY decision, it’s every single one.
I need to take a shower. When can I fit that in? Before therapy, after therapy? Homework still needs to get done. Maybe after the kids are asleep. Then again, what is sleep??
I want to get new carpet. Is that even possible? The color change will through off the room. It will feel different on their feet. Will they even walk on it?
New furniture? It will feel different, look different.
Try a new recipe tonight?? I would but I actually want my kids to eat. And there are only certain textures they will eat.
Do I work? I really need to get a job. But then who will do the deep pressure exercises with #2? She only let’s me do it. I’m the only one allowed in her space.
And the questioning goes on and on.
I am not asking other parents to do what I do. I’m not saying what I do will work for you. However, if you have a child (or adult) in your life on the spectrum, maybe take a few minutes to rethink things before you do them. Don’t think that it is “catering” to them. It’s not. Don’t thing that it is “spoiling” them. It’s not.
It is you taking another person into consideration. And that, is not a bad thing.